2 years alrdy...

its almost 2 years and im still there. yes. there.

my resignation was rejected.
simply put, i was offered an alternative.
lesser working days, but subjected to patient load... apply for leave and it shall be given (most of the time)
why did i take it? since it almost the same thing with that miserable pay and sai gang??
blame it on me.. im stubborn and really a karchuah (pa si buey cao)
patients somehow gets my attention as and when they want. i'll make sure im at work for these certain patiets whom i know dont prefer someone else attending to them... they'll complain to me, ask me y i took off when they are coming, complain the muffin they got me was eaten by someone else, blah blah... u know...
they even started calling me for advice..mind u sometimes or rather most of the time its not related to my job.
aunt agony. im already in enough agony and now im promoted to aunty?! wth...

so i agreed and stayed on. how long more i really dunno.
ive got other plans popping up and i dont mind the cash at the moment.
money is good, i cant resist~

i can resist food, rest, play and men but not cash.
that explains this thick layer of dust on my shoulder and my honorary position at the top of the shelf..
ahh well~ food is the next thing i cant say no to~ lol! thats why my figure is AWOL!

i've been promoted by my patients to nurse and recently medicine student.
LOL! they are really such a cute bunch~
most of them are anyway~ cute and really appreciative...
thats why i never complain staying late for them, doing all the dirty stuffs for them, going down on my knees to help them.
i cant remember how many tee-shirts i have discarded since i started working with them.
can u imagine going to shops to get a new tee to change into just so that u can leave office and go home or school with a peace of mind? and can u imagine having a set of tolieteries in ur locker just in case u need to shower and change?
i dunno how much ive spent on all these but the satisfaction is all worthwhile.
seeing them recover, cured and saying bye for real feels so damn good.

sometimes i feel like a star~ the patient would come with their family after OP and ask for a photography session.
they say they want to show their family and friends back at home the doctor and nurses~
thats real sweet and im glad they are happy seeing us~

ive sealed 2 case notes so far~ it was horrible but well~ this is part of the job.
we mourn for a while and thats it. cant let these emotions get in the way~ not that we are cold blooded. its called professionalism.
glad to say these 2 patients were happy and... well~ im glad they are at home with their loved ones at the end.. its what we encourage here. go home. have good quality of life, enjoy as much as u can, love ur family, it doesnt have to be morbid or depressing.

cancer is scary. this is a difficult line.
we are fighting a really powerful enemy but we are not losing either.
my position in the office has improved and im taken seriously now.
friendship, bonds are formed. its like family now.

i see them more than my family...
i miss my family.
6 and a half day at work really isnt helpful.
and i've got my degree (which im hoping against hope i can do really well~) and a hobby (and friends) which i would love to keep: Consonance. new toy vying for all the attention: solerworld. haha... (*drool...good looker, can sing, friendly in a package. twins somemore~ wa~ :p)
friendships which needs some attention too... im sorry guys.... miss ya too~ theres my darlins pig, kitty, janice, fabius.... and my crazy sisters selin, tammie, vicky... and theres the few uncles whom i havent seen in like what? 2 3 years?! hello~ where are U??
a special person whom i would love not to give up on yet. im trying, hopefully something would come out of it. well i can only try this hard...it depends on him too...haiz...im losing myself alrdy... giving and not reciving is hard. Sweenie JIA YOU!!
my classmates... the support is really awsome~ lol! cant imagine class without u guys. trust me, they are a really diversified group of crazy individual! Yiyi~, jiejie, uncle, jac, fish, xiaomei, moon, shirleen, rash, malini etc etc etc....i probably would not have scored this well in exams if not for the nagging and disciplining from them~ ha.....

Sweenie's now at work. doc at OT so im free for a while. No nursing manager so can be naughty~
for a while... (>.<)

light view of death in heavy times

have you ever felt that you are graded as being insensitive by your fellow human beings as being insensitive or heartless just because you take death in a lighter note than them?

i just had and the feeling really sucked especially when your intention and starting point was really good to begin with.
all i said was since i am free this evening,why not attend the wake and show some moral support.
the aunties had to reply 'how can you say such things one? what free so i attend.' in a rather distasteful and irritable sacarastic tone.
the rest of the day i felt really down and rather isolated from the rest of the world.
but i realise my view on death and the feeling that we should symphatise overly on the family.
humans tend to live on the comfort that others provide.
they are not disabled. just in mourning. thats why we shouldnt treat them as a fragile china doll but instead as a equal human being just in need of company and a little comfort to feel the love going on around them.
maybe its myself, maybe its the enviroment i live in.
maybe its the perspective of the general public versus me.
i'll chew on this and in the meantime so should you. ;)

peace

fashion disaster

i must admit that i have the poorest of fashion and dressing sense and yes my friends you guy have and are still correct when you say 'is that all you have in your closet?!'

im rotating the 6 shirts and tees for work. and my bottom, either that pair of jeans or that pair of black trousers. shoes?? hmm.... my crocs or that ugly track shoes. heels, yup i have a couple but im too lazy and find them too troublesome.
i did try but seriously im just too plain laidback for all these. and yes i agree that i look terrible and horrible not to mention those times when i try to dress up, i end up a fashion disaster!

but there are these times when i feel like smoothing that tie for this man with crooked tie or the lady with the inside out collar, or that lady with the skirt that has a 'dog-ear' on the sides.
but i didnt dare do them. its like infringing on personal space or privacy.
and i felt bad having these people to see me in the morning poorly dressed and there i am grading their fashion.

time to revamp but before that i have to earn and save up a bigger pocket and slim down properely. mind you im a humongous 100kg and im not afraid to say it! at least in here :)

wonders of a new hairdo

a new hairdo done finally after much procrastinating was wonderful.
in fact its so wonderful i finally understand the stand of women on changing airdo whenever they reach the point of i-cannot-take-it-any-more.
its like morphing into a new me.

suddenly thoughts and matters pour into me.
i remember what i had procrastinated long enough.
i realise what is it that i had missed and set to send out my messages of concern and updating.
i felt more confident and my brain worked without hitches.
i LOVE this new hairstyle totally!

most importantly, someone say: you look beautiful! did you do something to yourself recently??
Wow i hadnt gotten responses like for forever! must be the hair :)

baby's pee

have you ever wondered where amionic fluid comes from?
i have the answer and frankly speaking i wasnt thrilled to know that i soaked myself in that fluid for 9 months plus until i was borned wrinkled.

its baby's pee dearies and yes its not the kinda urine you pee.
baby's kidney function in a different way as compared to that after they are born.
when they are in the mother's womb, the umbilical cord and the placenta does the cleaning of the blood of the baby.
after they are born, the kidney takes over.
tats why the amionic fluid is clean and the amount of them present is an indication of how healthy the baby is in the womb.

although its definitely clean, it still urkes me a lil to know that i swim in my pee a long time ago...
no wonder we are born with that funny smell... that 'baby's smell'

fluid for thought hehheh....

What do i hate

What do i hate early in the morning?
waking up for work.
What do i hate late at night?
having to go to bed before its time because i have a job the next day.
What do i hate when i go shopping?
having to consider if i am overspending for the month.

There's gonna be a long hate list if i go on like this...

i shall leave this for further chewing purpose
What is it that i dont hate?
What is it that i want truly?
think about it.

polarpenda

polarbear thats easily spotted due to the dark eye circles: polarpenda

a new range if intellectual women burdened with only the lack of sleep...